Terracotta warrior: That's sorted my pins and needles after 2000 years.
Lord North, Prime Minister of Great Britain 1770-82, during his first election campaign in 1770: What a boring election this will be, what with taking over Britain in a triumphant state... there's nothing more to do methinks?
United States of America, 1776: Fuck off Britain.
Newsflash 2017: we know it's a dull election but try to stay awake, you never know what's going to happen...
Some ancient English pro-Europeans building a movement to challenge the withdrawal from Europe. Initial reactions:
An Anglo-Saxon: Was?
A Viking: Vad?
A Norman: Ce qui?
It's so complicated.
Trump: I'll make America great again!
Castro: I think it's time to pass away, can't go through all that again...
Prime Minister of Great Britain, 1776: I fear Your Royal Highness, we have lost the American colonies.
King George III: Damn you Sir, damn those pesky Americans and damn their democracy. I predict they will lose themselves in 240 years from now!
Prime Minister of Great Britain: Oh dear, King George is indeed now well and truly mad...
But was he?
Hollywood wedding officiants (c.1923 - ongoing): Do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husb...let's cut to the chase, be the father your children see every second weekend and provide a stack of alimony...
London plague victim, 1666: I only had to wait 350 years to bag a bit of prime real estate in London. (Forgive my pus, boils and skeletal look).
Roman financier in London AD57: To whom the matter will concern...blah blah...merchandise...blah blah...loan...blah blah...sold...did you get all that down scribe, it's very important?
Newsflash: UK's oldest hand-written document found in Roman London dig
Nelson: Oh bugger, I thought I was getting an eyepatch...
Newsflash: protesters climb Nelson's column April 2016
READ ALL ABOUT IT: FIRST FOLIO BY SHAKESPEARE FOUND IN 2016!
Shakespeare: Oh bugger, 400 years too late on the royalties front, am a bit dead now.
Elizabeth I: Will any high-ranking prince, who can handle rebelling aristocrats, revolting peasants, invading Armadas and sort out the whole Catholic/Protestant problem, please marry me?
Elizabeth I: OK, I get it, thanks God- Virgin Queen it is then...
Bronze Age man: And in years to come, future civilisations will find my workings on the truncated icosahedron and rhombic polyhedra - I shall carefully place my calculations written in the soil on top of this wooden cart wheel.
Bronze Age woman: You might want to put your work into a more permanent format dear, so it's not just the wheel they dig up. And you might want to work on your art too, otherwise we'll go down as primitive.
Ivan the Terrible, c.1570: Slaughter the nobles!
Peter the Great, c.1718: Get rid of my treacherous son!
Catherine the Great, c.1762: It would be really useful if my recently 'abdicated' husband could just disappear!
Stalin: Hell, just kill everyone!
Santa: Do I actually exist or not? I'll just have another vat of sherry while I think about it.
Tutankhamun: Oh shit they've found my secret room of home brew. Maybe they won't notice that this is in fact a bottle opener on my head...
Hercules: I've fought and slayed a lion, captured a bull and strangled a snake as a baby.
Doping control personnel: Sure big man, just piss in the bottle. And start thinking about another career.
Ian Fleming c.1952: So the hero of my latest novel will survive a ridiculous number of life-threatening situations without experiencing fear, have sex with every young woman he meets and single-handedly protect innately superior Britain from innumerable filthy foreigners.
Dick Whittington c.1400: I've escaped poverty courtesy of the rat-killing abilities of my cat. Now it's time to conquer London and become Mayor!
Concocted myths surround this wealthy bloke who became Mayor of London 600 years ago.
Elizabeth II: One has made it past Victoria's 63 years and seven months. Yippee!
Methuselah: That's nothin', try living to 969 years.
Queen Victoria: Ah but you're not real?
Elizabeth II: Aargh, are these voices in my head?